it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
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let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
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he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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