You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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