So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
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when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
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i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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