Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
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The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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