And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize