i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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