i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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