Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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