3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize