I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize