the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
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I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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