roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
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it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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