what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize