I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize