We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize