Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
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I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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