halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize