So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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