but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize