Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize