wrigley field is MILF paradise
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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