you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Four minutes until I can fart!
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You need Xanax blowdarts
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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