I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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