Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize