Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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