I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize