thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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