you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i permit you to call me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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