I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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