First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize