Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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