lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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