Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
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I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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