I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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