your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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