I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize