She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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