he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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