So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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