Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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