My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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