these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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