grandma shit on top of the toilet
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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