I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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