So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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