Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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