yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize