She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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