We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
pray to the hookup gods
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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