If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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